Gah, Love This Song

Find more artists like Lights at MySpace Music

The True You

It's funny.
I'm finding that if I am simply myself
without worrying about how people perceive me
or how I come across
or how I present myself
or what I say or don't say
or where I look or place my eyes's then that I am truly happy
and people are naturally drawn to me.
When possessing distress of the former things, people seem to dissipate from my life
But when I am simply me, there's an unsaid harmony between me and myself
and that harmony within the self draws in others, good people, people I want around me in my life.
I must remember - "Just be you, Kelsey."
Nothing more & nothing less.

sometimes we struggle

my head's playin tricks on me today.
buck up, mind. be stronger.
buck up, body. show em who's boss.
i am not defeated.

"Changing Paradigms" - Sir Ken Robinson


Every time I get around you my heart races and my mind narrows and my eyes dart from side to side, looking everywhere but your eyes. Because I know that if I look into your eyes, I'll want you, even more than I already want you, and I know that I can't have you. You plague me and frustrate me and see straight through me. And I hate you for it. And I love that you do it. I'm so vulnerable when I'm around you. I feel out of control. So, I step back and breathe and wait until I can dive back into you again. It's a good hurt, it's a terrorizing hurt. I know that she is perfect for you. I know that I'd be a menace to you and you an impediment to me. But fact does not alter feeling. No matter how hard I try to ignore my racing heart, it continues to pulse and nag and want. You. You are my burden and she is your strength. I am your fantasy and she is your reality. I feel your heart beat too. Not as strong, but I feel it beat. It is out of pace with mine. It laughs, mine screams. You are relaxed. I am collapsed at the will of my heart; it is stronger than me. So be easy with me. I'm trying. I'm trying to pull my heart back into my chest. Be easy with me.

Today's Contemplations

May every ill notion be removed from me.
May every destructive intention be cast from me.
Not that I may be boastful or cocky,
But that You be glorified and made perfect in my weakness.

Frustrate me into perfection with You.
Make me complete, lacking nothing.
Mold me into Your will,
And cast away my own will as I see Yours as better fitting.

The High-Minded Man

Moral Virtue, "Nicomachean Ethics" by Aristotle

"He loves to possess beautiful things that bring no profit, rather than useful things that pay; for this is characteristic of the man whose resources are in himself.

Further, the character of the high-minded man seems to require that his gait should be slow, his voice deep, his speech measured; for a man is not likely to be in a hurry when there are few things in which he is deeply interested, nor excited when he holds nothing to be of very great importance: and these are the causes of a high voice and rapid movements.

This, then, is the character of the high-minded man.

But he that is deficient in this quality is called little-minded; he that exceeds, vain or conceited."

Psalm 3 ESV

Save Me, O My God
A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.

1 O LORD, how many are my foes!
Many are rising against me;
2 many are saying of my soul,
there is no salvation for him in God.

3 But you, O LORD, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head.
4 I cried aloud to the LORD,
and he answered me from his holy hill.

5 I lay down and slept;
I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.
6 I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
who have set themselves against me all around.

7 Arise, O LORD!
Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
you break the teeth of the wicked.

8 Salvation belongs to the LORD;
your blessing be on your people!

"Your Attitude Should be the Same as That of Christ Jesus"

May I never consider myself equal with God
but make me nothing
may I take the very nature of a servant
as I humble myself
may I become obedient to Your command.

Brother David Steindl-Rast

"A Good Day" -- Brother David Steindl-Rast

You think this is just another day in your life?

It's not just another day. It's the one day that is given to you today.

It's given to you. It's a gift. It's the only gift that you have right now, and the only appropriate response is gratefulness.

If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift this unique day is, if you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life and the very last day, then you will have spent this day very well.

Begin by opening your eyes and be surprised that you have eyes you can open. That incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for pure enjoyment.

Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment with clouds coming and going. We just think of the weather. And even of the weather, we don't think of all the many nuances of weather. We just think of good weather and bad weather. This day right now has unique weather, maybe a kind that will never exactly in that form come again. The formation of clouds in the sky will never be the same that it's right now.

Open your eyes. Look at that.

Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story that you could never fully fathom, not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors. We all go back so far. And in this present moment, on this day, all the people you meet, all that life from generations and from so many places all over the world, flows together and meets you here like a life-giving water if you only open your heart and drink.

Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch, and there is electric light. You turn a faucet, and there is warm water and cold water and drinkable water. It's a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience.

So, these are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which you can open your heart. And so I wish you that you would open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you, that everyone whom you will meet on this day will be blessed by you, just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch, just by your presence.

Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. And then it will really be a good day.

Introspective People

Today while I was washing my hands in the restroom (is that too much information?), I was thinking about people whom I am close to in life. These were my thoughts. I think you'll find them humorous :)

"I sure do attract a lot of introspective people to myself. But I like introspective people. They think. They're not the kind of people that would say 'just kidding' if something slipped, because nothing slips - everything they say is deliberate and thought out. I like that a lot. I like that quality in a friend. Hmm, I wonder if I'm an introspective person. Oh, wait, I guess I just proved that and my pensive self."

that's all ;)

Tell me about your thoughts the next time you're washing your hands!

My New Board

My new Sector 9 board came in yesterday. It rained all day today, but I hope it will be nice enough to take her out tomorrow. Love it?!

"Fall Down"

"Fall Down" by Jennifer Knapp

judge me not ye saints :)

Top Ten Terrible Things That Probably Won’t Happen to You Today

from Autostraddle

10. Dysentery

It looks like you probably won’t get dysentery today, unless you’re on the Oregon Trail, like Nicole:

9. Cholera

We’ve learned that this is still fairly common in under-developed countries, but you’re not in an under-developed country; you’re on a computer or maybe your new HTC Evo or iPad.

8. Atomic bomb
An atomic bomb is a big deal, and having one dropped on your country would more or less define your existence, but it’s unlikely to happen today.

7. Being thrown from your horse and buggy

Unless you’re Amish, but if you were Amish, you wouldn’t be reading this.

6. Scurvy

I guess this could still happen to you, but it probably won’t. Carly suggests drinking orange juice to prevent scurvy.

5. Drowning on the Titanic

Definitely not going to happen. This should be on a new list titled, “Top Ten Terrible Things That Definitely Won’t Happen to You Today.” That list would be superior to this list, in the same way that the Chi brand hair straightener is superior to all other hair straighteners. But also more expensive.

4. Being punched by a waitress for no reason

Unless you’re Lindsay Lohan.

3. Amnesia

This may only happen in made-for-TV movies and in soap operas, but even if it does happen in real life, I don’t think it’s going to happen to you. And the likelihood of it happening today is even slimmer.

2. Dinosaur attack

This one goes on the other list with the Titanic.

1. Meteor

Don’t rule it out completely, but also don’t become obsessively worried about it. If someone asks what you think probably won’t happen today, you should answer, “meteor.”

Leave It Behind

My past is the past. I will learn from it, but I will not dwell in it. There is nothing I can change but the present. So, I choose to live in the present today, right now. I look forward to the future, but I do not worry on it. It holds possibilities not realities. The now is where I lie.


This is a song that I wrote a LONG while back. I happened upon it tonight and thought I'd share it with you :) Hope you like it!

I am a hero
I am a loser
I am a gamble
I am a bruiser
I know exactly where to kick you when you’re down
Oh, what a wonderful sound

This is everything I own
Call me a heathen
Call me alone
I’ll stick my neck out
Bite at your toes
Wish I had something more
Than words to transpose

I am a wonder
I am a winner
I rigged the cards
Claiming luck of beginner
You’re down on your knees just beggin to know my name
This is a wonderful game

I’ll let you know none of me
Let you pick and prod and plead until you bleed
Rest assured this is everything
Nothing to know
Even less to see

Nobody taught me
Nobody hit me
Nobody brought me the judge and the jury
Cause, baby, there’s no one here who wants to see me cry
This is a wonderful lie

Twitter on Musicians

"HAHAHA! a friend of mine told me she wanted to date a musician! um, no, you don't. we're so screwed up and selfish and sad - no, you don't!"

@missuseless: u got that right girl.
@LoveMeLastBand: "Becoming a Fan" would be a lot easier on her heart. :)
@kelseyshawn_9: amen to that.
@christinenstone: hahaha agreed! we musicians are a mess. tell your friend dating a musicians is like drugs just say no lol
@nel1jack: date a musician? is she nuts? Tell her to go listen to Kiss- Beth
@timothydanger: shhh don't ruin our myth! We're sweethearts hahaha plus when we break up with her we'll write mean songs
@anautumnrain: true true. Lol
@silentcabaret: um excuse me, I'm musician but I am so NOT screwed up! ok who am I kidding? I couldn't keep a straight face when I typed that.

Comic Sans



- - - -

Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

Pomplamoose - "Another Day"

c'mon - you know you're smilin now ;)

No Wonder

Friend: says something in Spanish (I can't remember what it was for the life of me...)
Me: "So, do you speak Spanish?"
Friend: "I really like Spanish; I'm getting better. ¿Habla espaƱol?"
Me: "Un poco."
Friend: "Ohhh."
Me: "Yeah, four years of private school Spanish - still, nothin'."
Friend: "You went to private school?"
Me: "Yup, why?"
Friend: "No wonder you're gay."
Me: "Hah, yeah...I know."

What are Your Habits?

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit."

— Aristotle

"Wanted" by Holly Brook

Tweet Me, Baby, One More Time

This is a twitter conversation that my friends and I had yesterday. Sorry, world.

Abi: "Awesome! I've got a drummer, now I just need another noisemaker, who's in?"
Becca: "if you can't find anyone else i'm always up for it"
Abi: "actually I told Laura to contact you guys to open up the night, but if it doesn't work out or you want to play two sets, I would love to have you make more noise with me! :D"
Me: "that sounds dirty"
Abi: "who says it's not?"

You Will Not Abandon My Soul

Psalm 16
A Miktam of David.

1 Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”

3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.

4 The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

5 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.

6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.

8 I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.

10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.

11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.


1 Corinthians 13:4-7, ESV
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Father, I have not been living under the product of Your abundant love. Let me walk in the promises You give to me. Teach me. Heart, listen to His teachings. Help my unbelief. I receive Your love that I may, in turn, love others like you love them. Make me an instrument of Your peace. I am guilty of envy, boastfulness, arrogance, rudeness, insisting on my own way, irritability, and resentfulness. I am guilty. You see my thoughts and actions. I am guilty. But, You have come to wash and purify and sanctify my soul. I trust in You. I lean not on my own understanding. My mind and flesh are weak, but You, Oh Lord, are a refuge. Help me walk in Your great love.

I Am Me

“So, when they ask why a nice girl like me would spit in the face of social norms, I will tell them that I want to be who I am, not what I’m told. I will tell them that I deserve to be comfortable in my life and make myself at home in my body. Lastly, I will tell them that I am me, and I am okay."


Prayer of St. Francis

Let Your Blue Veins Show

"Hannah" by Freelance Whales

Be Kind

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph 4:32, 5:1-2, ESV

Rachael Cantu - Ra Ra Riot "Can You Tell" cover