Leave It Behind


My past is the past. I will learn from it, but I will not dwell in it. There is nothing I can change but the present. So, I choose to live in the present today, right now. I look forward to the future, but I do not worry on it. It holds possibilities not realities. The now is where I lie.

Honest

This is a song that I wrote a LONG while back. I happened upon it tonight and thought I'd share it with you :) Hope you like it!

I am a hero
I am a loser
I am a gamble
I am a bruiser
I know exactly where to kick you when you’re down
Oh, what a wonderful sound

This is everything I own
Call me a heathen
Call me alone
I’ll stick my neck out
Bite at your toes
Wish I had something more
Than words to transpose

I am a wonder
I am a winner
I rigged the cards
Claiming luck of beginner
You’re down on your knees just beggin to know my name
This is a wonderful game

I’ll let you know none of me
Let you pick and prod and plead until you bleed
Rest assured this is everything
Nothing to know
Even less to see

Nobody taught me
Nobody hit me
Nobody brought me the judge and the jury
Cause, baby, there’s no one here who wants to see me cry
This is a wonderful lie

Twitter on Musicians

"HAHAHA! a friend of mine told me she wanted to date a musician! um, no, you don't. we're so screwed up and selfish and sad - no, you don't!"

@missuseless: u got that right girl.
@LoveMeLastBand: "Becoming a Fan" would be a lot easier on her heart. :)
@kelseyshawn_9: amen to that.
@christinenstone: hahaha agreed! we musicians are a mess. tell your friend dating a musicians is like drugs just say no lol
@nel1jack: date a musician? is she nuts? Tell her to go listen to Kiss- Beth
@timothydanger: shhh don't ruin our myth! We're sweethearts hahaha plus when we break up with her we'll write mean songs
@anautumnrain: true true. Lol
@silentcabaret: um excuse me, I'm musician but I am so NOT screwed up! ok who am I kidding? I couldn't keep a straight face when I typed that.

Comic Sans

I'M COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE.

BY MIKE LACHER

- - - -

Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

Pomplamoose - "Another Day"


c'mon - you know you're smilin now ;)

No Wonder

Friend: says something in Spanish (I can't remember what it was for the life of me...)
Me: "So, do you speak Spanish?"
Friend: "I really like Spanish; I'm getting better. ¿Habla espaƱol?"
Me: "Un poco."
Friend: "Ohhh."
Me: "Yeah, four years of private school Spanish - still, nothin'."
Friend: "You went to private school?"
Me: "Yup, why?"
Friend: "No wonder you're gay."
Me: "Hah, yeah...I know."